50 Sex Tips for Men
Sex isn’t a Race
Sex isn’t a race, so take time to explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina and don’t cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress.
Give Her Plenty of Time
If you want morning sex, set your alarm at least 20 minutes early. A woman won’t want sex if she’s hurried, and she’ll probably need about 20 minutes to reach orgasm.
Grunts are Better Than Nothing
She’ll give longer and more enthusiastic oral sex if you give her a verbal response. Even appreciative grunts are better than silence.
Vary the Stimulation
When you’re all the way inside her, add side-to-side movement or up-and-down pelvic pressure against her clitoris to vary the stimulation.
Make a Fantasy Lottery
Both you and your lady write five sexual fantasies down on five separate notebook cards. Then head to a restaurant where you can get a booth and some privacy in a public setting. Over dinner and wine, pull out the cards and make three piles—”yes,” “maybe someday,” and “not on your life.” Put the possibles in a shoe box, and once a month pull out a winner.
Mimic Her Style
Ask her to kiss your earlobe with the same pressure she prefers during oral, then cop her style next time you’re south of the border.
Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.
Remain calm when a decked-out bombshell strolls by and you’ll be sending the message that you’re too smart to be wowed by a Wonderbra and red lipstick.
Give Her the Perfect Compliment
The best compliments are the ones that involve multiple senses. “You have beautiful breasts” is nice. “You have beautiful breasts—they feel so soft and warm in my hands” is that much more intimate.
Don’t Give in to Temptation
If a woman who knows you’re spoken for comes on to you, it’s flattering. It’s tempting. But remember that she’s doing it to feed her own ego, not yours. She wants to see how much power she holds over you. And if you take her bait, she then knows she must be superior in every way to your sweetie. Deep down, she has nothing but contempt for both your male weakness and your mate’s existence. That should really piss you off.
Find Her G-Spot
Use your thumb to press on her G-spot, as if you were making a thumbprint on her vaginal wall. You’re shooting for the area about 2 inches inside the vaginal opening, on the front side.
Use Your Tongue Wisely
When kissing, don’t use your tongue like a dart (in and out, in and out). Instead, try varying motions and amounts of pressure.
Doggy-Style the Right Way
Doggy-style tip: For over-the-top stimulation of her most nerve-packed parts, keep thrusting short and shallow, rather than deep and fast.
Tell Her What She Wants to Hear
Words she loves to hear: “I want to make you feel good.”
Hang Out with Your Married Pals
Looking for The One? Don’t abandon your spoken-for friends. A guy with a wife or live-in girlfriend has an expanded social circle—meaning he knows more women (that he could potentially introduce you to) than he did when he was single.
Don’t Go South During Foreplay
During foreplay, agree that the genitals are off-limits. Touch the other parts of her body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything that turns her on, and ask her to describe how it feels. This builds the tension until you’re both ready to explode.
Ease into Dirty Talk
Want to know if she likes to talk dirty? Tell her, “You make me think dirty thoughts.” Ease in slowly. It’s best to test the waters a bit, rather than immediately go for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk right off the bat.
Flatter Her 5 Times a Day
Compliment her at least 5 times a day. It’ll make her feel special, appreciated, and closer to you. And the more connected she feels, the more sexually inspired she’ll feel.
Shop for Cologne She Likes
If you don’t have a cologne that she likes, shop for one with her. It’s a form of foreplay.
Hold Her Hand
Holding hands can work as an aphrodisiac. It shows her you’re devoted and proud to tell the world.
Assume a New Position
Assume the Cuban Plunge sex position: As you assume the man-on-top position, ask her to bring her knees to her chest and drape her legs over your shoulders. Her vagina will be elongated and extended, and your penetration will be deeper and more pleasurable for her, which qualifies as a win-win situation.
Compliment her in front of your friends.
The next time you kiss her, don’t try to steal second. Just kiss. Men use kissing primarily as a means to an end—to advance sexual relations. Yet women mainly use kissing as a way to monitor the status of the relationship, and especially a partner’s commitment level.
Keep the Lights Low
One of the biggest reasons women can’t relax during sex is body image. Keep the lights low. A candle? Perfect.
Show Her Passion
“Passion” means being in the moment and not being distracted. Sex is a conversation, and she doesn’t want to feel like you wish you had your BlackBerry.
Whisper Fantasies in Public
Lie on a blanket in a park, with people all around, and whisper fantasies to one another, sparing no detail. You’ll create sexual tension—but with safety, as there’s no possibility of sex then and there.
Use anticipation as an aphrodisiac. Instead of tearing her clothes off, take your time. Tell her what you want to do with each section of exposed skin.
Tell Her to Go Slow
Words she loves to hear: “It’s OK to go slow.” Say it and mean it.
Sit at a 90-Degree Angle
On a dinner date, always position yourself at a 90-degree angle to her rather than straight on. If she sits at the end of the table, sit in the first seat to her left. Turn toward her from the waist, which will give her the opportunity to turn toward you.
Don’t Agree to Disagree
When you and your girlfriend disagree, never agree to disagree. Agreeing to disagree shuts down the communication process and resolves nothing. And the less comfortable she feels communicating, the less confident she’ll feel about the relationship.
Ask Her for a Kissing Lesson
Ask her to demonstrate what she considers a sexy kiss. Then let her do all the work. It’s educational…and fun.
Mix Things Up in Bed
Don’t be afraid to mix things up in bed. Sexual novelty re-creates those early-relationship, take-me-now hormones.
Fund a Sexy Shopping Spree
Fund an erotic shopping spree. Write out a gift certificate with an expiration date that coincides with your evening at a hotel. If she prefers to shop alone, let her—either way, you’ll find out what interests her.
Join a volunteer group. Selflessness is sexy—and research has shown that women consider altruism more important than men do. To show your selfless stuff, join a Meetup volunteer group (volunteerism.meetup.com).
Start Sex in a New Place
Start sex outside the bedroom. The same old place leads to the same old patterns. So explore some new erogenous areas: The kitchen. The bathroom. Quebec City. Your bodies will be in new places, making it unlikely that you’ll follow old routines.
Offer Her Chocolate
Feed her chocolate: It’ll load her up with phenylethylamine, a neurotransmitter that activates the brain’s pleasure center, and caffeine, which can jolt her sex drive.
Ride in an Overnight Train
Take an overnight train with your girlfriend or wife. There’s the excitement of traveling in a novel way. And there’s your sleeping compartment. It’s a new place—and it moves, which adds a new dynamic to sex. And it’s somewhat public: There’s the excitement when you’re in flagrante delicto as the train stops, and people are outside your window.
Use Appliances as Vibrators
Here’s a new place to have sex: on the washer. Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other appliance in the home. When your butt’s on the lid, the motion is transmitted through your penis, essentially turning your member into a life-size vibrator.
Use Your Beanbag Chair
Another new place to have sex: in a beanbag chair. You can contour it to any shape, and it’ll support you in unaccustomed ways. Doggy-style sex works great when she’s on her belly, draped over the amorphous blob (that’s the chair, not you).
Have Sex in a Forest
New Place to Have Sex III: a national park. If the missus likes to vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska’s Denali National Park, where 6 million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning permit system leave little risk of waking the neighbors. She’ll gasp in delight when the midnight sun bathes the Big One (that’s Mt. McKinley, buddy) in salmon pink light.
Stop the Elevator
New Place to Have Sex IV: the elevator. Try a freight elevator. It won’t have an alarm, and you can stop it between floors for more privacy.
Seduce Her in Your Car
Relive the past. Take her to the garage and reclaim a space you long ago ceded: Seduce her in the backseat of the car. It feels a little public, it’s steeped in testosterone, and there’s a throwback, high-school quality to it.
Earn Your Right to Experiment
Sexual experimentation is earned, not inherited. It requires time, tact, and trust: 66 percent of the women we surveyed said they’re most willing to experiment later in a relationship.
Give Her a Proper Warmup
Clitoral contact in particular feels abrasive without a proper warmup. If a woman yips or inhales suddenly when you go there—instead of purring or moaning—you’ve jumped the gun.
Try a New Sex Position
Try the Yab-Yum sex position: You both sit up, and she faces you, sitting on your lap with a pillow under her bottom for easier penetration. You’ll have constant contact with her clitoris, but she’ll control the pressure.